Man in the mirror

I don't have much to say about the tragedy of Michael Jackson. It's a sad story about a man who so clearly epitomized the truism that money can't buy you happiness. He made a lot of wonderful music, made a lot people happy, and had the world on a string for many years, and yet:

1) He hated the way he looked and apparently went through years of plastic surgery, not to mention skin-color changes, to try to look different. It's startling to see him in one of his last music videos, for 2001's "You Rock My World" in which he looks more like a grotesque approximation of a pasty-faced mannequin rather than a human being. It's even more startling to see him in the video for "Don't Stop Til You Get Enough" back in 1979, when he was actually a handsome, happy-looking young black man.

2) He seemed unable to make intimate connections with other humans. My theory about the crotch-grabbing, the failed marriages, the sharing his bed with adolescent boys, is that he really had no clue what physical intimacy was all about. I would not be surprised to learn that he never had sex, not even with the underage boys with which he was suspected of having done so. I hope, and even think it may be possible, that he was actually a good father to his three kids, because I don't know that he could ever relate to people on anything but a child's level.

3) He seemed never to be satisfied with his fame. In some ways, Thriller was a misfortune; how does anyone follow the best-selling album of all time? The whole "King of Pop" thing was a silly attempt to make something so just by putting a label on it. Interestingly, the networks seemed to be using the "King of Pop" phrase un-ironically over the weekend. So, what the hell, maybe he was the King of Pop.

4) And, of course, the sad untimely end, on the eve of a promising comeback to live performing. When I heard him being compared to Elvis Presley, another King who came to a tragic end, I first thought, no way. But then I realized that, to the generations that came of age in the late 70's and 80's, he probably was the equivalent of Elvis or The Beatles. And I guess I'm OK with that.

To me, he made good, solid, glossy pop music; I don't think he broke any real musical ground like Elvis or The Beatles, but lots of people felt strong personal connections with his music. Many of the TV and Internet obits have praised him for breaking down the last racial boundaries in pop music, but truth to tell, that had been mostly done in the 60's by other Motown artists (like Smokey Robinson and Diana Ross), and Aretha Franklin, James Brown, Otis Redding, and Jimi Hendrix, all of whom had huge mainstream fan followings and whose music was played widely on mainstream top 40 radio stations. Undeniably, he broke the color barrier on MTV, an important cultural happening. And he may well be the last pop music superstar who could appeal broadly to almost anyone who listened to the radio.

I find much of his music catchy and fun to sing along with in the car. But I have stronger connections to his earlier music with the Jackson 5, largely because I was a teenager when they first hit it big--I'm only two years older than Michael. It takes me back to a simpler, happier time, or at least a time that seems that way in retrospect. I realize now that Thriller was part of the musical soundtrack to the disintegration of my first serious live-in relationship with another man, which had lasted 3 years, so that may color to some extent how I feel about that music now. Regardless, the story of Michael Jackson is a sad one, but the music left behind will continue to make lots of people happy.